Gamer Rage

I play video games. I have for years. I used to play a lot of RPG's. Mostly final fantasy. Then I played MMORPGs for years. After having kids, I could not put aside the time to play video games for hours on end without being interrupted. I have moved to playing first person shooters. My game of choice at the moment is Modern Warfare 3. One of my PS3 controllers is on the fritz. If you move it the wrong way, it will randomly open menus and click things. If I am in game, it will jump, change guns, or shoot without me wanting it to. This fantastic controller has caused me to Rage on more than one occasion.

I am not proud of it, but I swear and yell a lot when I play video games. Unfortunately for me... Bug has picked up on this habit of mine.

Last week I got home from work. I sat down and played Portal 2 for about 15 minutes. I then left the game on the menu screen and went to make dinner. Bug grabbed the controller and started pushing buttons. Somehow she managed to start a level. I heard her yelling from the front room. I looked into the front room and saw her:

Controller in her hands
Angry concentration look on her face.

Then I heard it... "Damn! Damn! Damn it! F*ck you!"

She put the controller down, balled up her fists, and yelled at the TV some more.

She saw that I was watching her. She looked at me with a big smile and said "I play video games like momma!"

It took everything I had not to burst into laughter and tears while watching her. She had the biggest look of accomplishment on her face for being just like mommy. I guess I know what needs to happen next. I need to adjust the way I react to my games. I don't need a little 2 year rage gamer. I am going to have enough trouble with her when she gets older.

Curiousity Bug

Bug has been working on her communication a lot lately. she is now speaking in full sentences, and having complete conversations. Lately she has been very curious about sounds and noises.

"What make dat noise?"

Every time Bug hears a noise she asks that question. Most of the time she knows the answer, but sometimes she actually doesn't. The light in her eyes when she pops up her head and listens to whatever noise her little bug ears pick up is amazing.

Trucks, kids, dogs, noisy stomachs, video games, flushing toilets, and a million other sounds have piqued her interest. My little Bug with the supersonic ears and the deepest curiosity that a two year old can have.

Mommy's Cup

Bug is two years old. It is still not 100% safe to give her a regular cup. She also still requests her cup with her at bed time. She still uses sippy cups. Or as she calls them "see-pee" cups.

This last week at work I won a raffle and won a coffee mug and a glass jar full of tea. 88 teabags. I have never seen so much tea in my life (other than at the grocery store). Anywho... this coffee mug that I won is a travel mug. It is a big, bright purple mug with a screw on lid.

When I got home from work with my mug, Bug grabbed it and ran over to Bear.

"Poppa! Mom's see-pee cup! Mom's purple see-pee cup!"

She then ran down the hall, got her green sippy cup and showed them both to me. She was so excited that we both have sippy cups. She also pointed out the fact that mine was purple and hers was green. Also, mine is bigger (because I am bigger than her).

But really... how exciting is that?? We have matching cups!

Happy Halloween!

I hope that everyone had a happy and safe Halloween. Ours was full of firsts.

This was our first Halloween in this house. This made me a little anxious because it is new territory. Every neighborhood has a "normal" time that they start hitting the streets and knocking on doors. In my old neighborhood it was what I would consider kinda early. Before the sun went down. I wonder if that was because we lived in a kind of ghetto neighborhood and people didn't want to be out much after dark. Just after the sun started to go down we went out to the front yard to try to get a feel for what was going on. There was almost no one on the street. We ended up hanging out and letting the kids play in the yard for a bit before all the other kids started coming out to make the rounds.

This was also the first Halloween that we passed out candy. In the previous 5 years, we would pack up Monkey and Bug and drive down the street to my parents' house. Like I said before, we lived in a not so great neighborhood, and weren't really keen on the idea of going door to door. Needless to say, we weren't home, and therefore we didn't pass out candy. This year I took the kids around as Bear hung out in the front yard with the pumpkins and passed out candy. He said that he was kind of disappointed in the number of kids that came by. We chalked it up to the fact that we kinda live in the corner of our little neighborhood, and the kids probably didn't make the effort to go out of the main area for candy. At the end of the night, we probably got about 25 kids by the house. Not bad, but not great compared to the number of kids that were running around.

This was Bug's first Halloween that she could actually participate in. Last year she was only 15 months old. She was a little ladybug that got pushed around in a stroller all night. This year she was at the front of the line at every house yelling "TRICK TREAT PEASE!"

And finally, this was Monkey's first Halloween after starting school. Just after we left our house, we ended up seeing one of Monkey's friends from school. The two of them decided that they wanted to walk around and trick or treat together. We let Monkey, Bug, and Minnie Mouse (the friend's costume) lead the way while her dad and I kept them on track and moving. Monkey and Minnie we chatty and loud 6 year olds and Bug was more concerned with holding Minnie's hand. If she stopped holding her hand, Bug would run up to her with her hand extended and call out to get her attention. "Minnie! (yes she actually said Minnie and not the girl's real name) Minnie! Hand!" The girl would hold her hand out and walk hand in hand with Bug while talking with Monkey. We also ran into a few other kids that Monkey knew. Little Miss Social would run over to them, hug them, tell them what great costumes they had, tell them bye, and run back over to us.

All in all, this Halloween was really good. We learned a lot about the neighborhood. We saw no aftermath of shenanigans. No toilet papered houses. No smashed pumpkins in the middle of the street. Now that that is over, we have Monkey's 6th birthday in a week and Thanksgiving just a couple weeks after that. Then Christmas, my birthday, and New Year's all lumped up together. It's gonna get busy quick, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

The Dog

After Bear and I got married, we talked more seriously about having kids. I told him that I wanted kids. He said "lets get a puppy instead". So we did. Enter Cami. She was the only girl out of the whole litter of seven or eight puppies that were found abandon in a cardboard box and taken in by the pound. She had huge ears for a very young puppy and they used to flop down over her eyes. She was adorable.

Bear's master plan to put off having kids worked!... for a little bit.

Having a puppy wasn't enough for me. So we got pregnant with Monkey. Now we have a puppy (that Bear occasionally refers to as "failed birth control") and newborn Monkey. We thought that Monkey and Cami would be best friends and grow up together. Six years later, this is not the case.

Monkey likes the dog, but Cami tends to be "aggressively passive". She will live in your personal space bubble unless you force her out. Monkey likes her space.

Bug is the human this dog was meant for. They are two of a kind. Both full of energy, don't listen, and will eat anything. ANYTHING. They chase each other around the house. Cami playfully nips at Bug to get her going again and Bug lays on her and tries to ride on her back. They both have their tolerance thresholds, but they seem to be able to hold each other's attention much longer than anyone else in the family can. It makes for great entertainment watching them run around and wear each other out.

Maybe Bug is half dog and Cami is half Bug? Who knows. All I know is they make each other happy. And even though Cami is/was failed birth control, we all still love her. Most of all her kindred spirit, Bug.

Watering the Flower

Tis the Halloween season. There are lots of reasons to be out and about in costumes. This last Saturday night  we went to a church Halloween night with my parents. Bug was supposed to be a lion, but she refused to wear her hoodie with the tail and lion face, and Monkey was a purple flower. Monkey's costume is basically a purple, knee length dress with purple tulle flowers on the bodice, "petals" for the skirt, and green trim.

As we were walking to the car after the festivities were over, I overheard my mom and Monkey talking about her being a flower. My mom had a cup of water and was teasing Monkey that she was going to water her. Monkey was laughing and running away and playing with my mom about it. About a minute later, Monkey was walking in front of me and I couldn't resist. I threw the water that I had on her. She screamed. She cried. I laughed.

She was so upset. She went into insta-drama mode, crying and yelling at me. "Why would you do that?!" "That's not nice!" I told her that she was a flower and that I thought she needed water. Her response was fantastic:

"I'm not a real flower! I don't need to be watered!"

Bear tried to get her to calm down. He tried to explain to her that there was no reason to be so upset. She maintained that it wasn't nice of me to throw water on her and that it was mean of me to surprise her by doing so.

I didn't get her costume wet. She was wearing flip flops, so she didn't have to wear wet shoes or socks. She was dry within a couple minutes.

I knew that by doing that I was going to awaken the drama queen. At least this time I knew what I was doing. It wasn't a random crying fit because of some perceived slight against her. It was totally worth it.

I blame my mom for my sense of humor in torturing my children. She did it to me. I do it to my kids. And I am sure the cycle will continue. I also know that karma comes around, and I am only getting back what I gave my mom. That gives me confidence that one day my kids will find humor in the things from their childhood and not take life too seriously when they have their own kids.

Stink Baby

Bug is very particular about the stuff that goes in the car with us in the morning. Cup and blankie are the every day items. Shoes and toys are optional and vary. Today it was her cabbage patch doll.

Getting to the sitter takes about half an hour. About ten minutes out Bug proudly proclaims from the back seat "Diaper, Mom! Poop!"

Really?! I am not looking forward to dealing with a poopy diaper and rush hour traffic.

Me: Ok Bug. I'll change it in a little bit.
Bug: Ok Mom. I do it.
Me: Uhm... just wait.
Bug: I did it mom! Baby stink diaper done. I change it!

Oh! I Get it! I am so glad that "Baby" had a dirty super and not Bug. The rest of the way to the sitter and most of the way home, Bug talked about changing the baby.

Very cute and mature. She is definitely my lovey kid. Bonus: she's never stingy with the hugs and kisses.

Multi-Purpose Cream

As a parent, certain things raise red flags. Crying and loud banging noises, shattering glass or pouring liquid. However, the biggest warning sign of all is silence.

Despite the saying, Silence is NOT golden.

Everyone in the house was doing their own thing. I was sewing. Bear was reading. Monkey was watching TV. Bug was.... uhm.... unaccounted for. She wasn't making any noise. She was not watching TV. Bear and I had the parental spidey sense at the same time. As I went walking down the hall to find our wonderful Bug, I heard Bear already talking to her. He beat me to it by about 10 seconds. But we found her.

She was washing her hands. And brushing her teeth. And brushing her hair. She wasn't using soap, toothpaste, or gel. She was using a tube of diaper rash cream. For all three things.

Her hands and the counter were covered in a moderate layer of the cream. We could not even see her skin. She had clumps and smears of cream on and around her mouth. And finally, she had her hair smeared straight up like Sonic the Hedgehog. I grabbed her up and swooped her away to the shower.

The shower was a pain all by its self. Diaper rash cream is water resistant. Lots of real soap. Lots of scrubbing with a hand towel, and still she came out of the shower a bit greasy.

I think I need to have my parent radar updated. It was a little slow on the pick up of the shenanigans of Bug.

What Do They Say

Last week the girls and I were driving home from daycare. We had stopped off at the store to pick up a few things. One of the thinkgs that we got was a lion costume for Bug. It is a yellow pair of furry pants with a tail, and a puffy hoodie jacket. The hoodie has a lions face on the hood, and white on the chest/stomach area. So when she puts the pants on and zips up the hoodie, she looks like a little lion.

After we left the store, Bug was sitting in the back seat making lion noises. "RAWR!" This led into a round of "What sound does _____ make?" We ran through the usual suspects: cats, cows, chickens, roosters, dogs, lions, birds, and even fish. Then it got fun.

Me: "Bug, what sound do you make?"

Bug: "RAWR!"

Me: "What sound does Monkey (my daughter not the animal) make?"

Monkey: "Eeh Eeh Aah Aah!" (or however you spell the noise a real monkey makes)

Me: "What sound does Poppa (Bear) make?"

Bug: "Dinner!"

Me: "Poppa makes dinner?"

Bug: "Yup! At house! I hungee!"

Me: "What sound do I make?"

Bug: "No, Momma. No noise."

Monkey: "Tweet tweet!" (I'm Bird)

Monkey: "I'm done playing this game now mom, whats for dinner?"

Our conversation then moved on to dinner, chores, and what happened at daycare. My two year old helped me learn something new. Poppa makes the noise "Dinner!"

Happy and Sad

This picture is one of the most telling pictures of my kids. Bug was only a month old when Monkey wanted to lay on the couch and snuggle her. I told her she could as long as A) Bug was on the pillow and up against the back of the couch and B) that Monkey didn’t lay ON her. As soon as Monkey laid down next to her, she draped one arm over her legs to half hug/snuggle her. Bug burst into tears. Monkey quickly backed off and covered her ears because she was so loud.

Two years later and I am still dealing with this scenario. Monkey wants to play, and Bug doesn’t and throws a fit. Or the other way around. They do love each other and about half the time they get along and play like BFF’s and other times… not so much. I do have to say though that I am both excited and terrified to see the relationship between my kids grow and evolve.

I guess all kids are half demon and half angel. Just gotta learn to go with the flow.

Just Like Momma

I have tattoos and piercings. Monkey has always liked them. From the time she was old enough to color on herself, she would mark on  herself and say "Momma!" Monkey likes to get temporary tattoos and put them on her arms. She has already told me she wants real tattoos. 

Bug has also started picking up a liking for them. I recently got a large tattoo on my side. Bug liked it so much she asked me for her own. "Tootoo! Tootoo mom! Me tootoo??" I asked her where she wanted it and she pointed to the same spot on her side that I have mine. I got a permanent marker and gave her her own "tootoo". She then ran around the house yelling "Me tootoo! Look poppa! Me tootoo!!"

Princess Glasses

Monkey recently got tested at school for her eyes and ears. Her hearing is fine, but she needs glasses. I knew this day would come for one or both of the kids eventually. Bear and I both wear glasses. Most of my family (immediate and extended) wear them, and a couple on Bear’s side do too.

After receiving this news, I posted on Facebook that she needs glasses. To me, not a big deal. I post lots of stuff about the kids on there. A couple of weeks after I posted that, Monkey came in to talk to me in tears. “Why did you tell all your friends I need glasses?!” I told her that I did not think it was that big of a deal. She continued to cry because she felt like by telling my friends that she needs glasses, that I was somehow making fun of her. I told her all the people I knew that wear glasses. Friends and family alike. We also talked about people she knew in school (all different ages) that wear glasses. She started to calm down when I remembered something my mom and I talked about a few days before.

My mom recommended that I make up stories about princesses needing to wear glasses. Monkey LOVES princesses and if they need glasses, it wouldn’t be so bad for her to need them.

“Monkey, think about it this way. If Cinderella had had her glasses on, she would have seen when her glass slipper fell off, and she could have grabbed it and not lost it.”

This was not the exact story my mom recommended… hers was better. It was if Cinderella had worn glasses she could have seen the floor better and could have cleaned it faster. But I couldn’t remember it in that moment and went with the first thing that popped in my head.

After my Cinderella story, Monkey looked at me and said “Mom, Cinderella had to lose her slipper because the prince had to find it so that he could find her. That’s the way the story goes.” Monkey then hopped down off the chair she was sitting on and went off to play.

I got shut down by a five year old.

P.S. the fact that I am posting this story again here after her getting upset that I posted on Facebook is not lost on me. :)

Nursery Rhymes with Bug

Bug is still learning how to talk, but she LOVES to sing. At daycare she has learned a few nursery rhymes. Twinkle, twinkle, little star, ABC’s, and Patty cake, patty cake are her three favorites. Most days in the car on the way home she likes to sing those songs to me. She cannot stay focused on one while she is singing though. She has created her own nursery rhyme mash-up.

“Tinkle tinkle star

How-uh, how-uh, how-uh, how-uh.

A B C B A B A B

Patty cake, patty cake

Roll it. Pat it.

BABY! MOMMY! YAY!!”

Sometimes she adds other family members to the list after Baby and Mommy. That list has extended to include: Monkey, Bear, Cami (our dog), grandparents, uncles, aunts, her cousin, and friends from day care. She is very generous with wanting to share her cake with people.

Nap Time

Bug likes to take care of people. She is very affectionate. She gives away kisses all the time. She also likes to make sure that people are comfortable. About a month ago, on a Saturday, she decided it was my nap time. She grabbed my hand, walked me into my bedroom and stopped at the bed. I wasn't sure what she expected me to do, so I just stood there. She walked in front of me then pushed me back on the bed. After putting her hand up to me and very clearly saying "Stay mom" she ran out of the room. A minute later she returned with a blankie and a sippie cup. "Nap Mom. Nigh nigh" she covered my feet with the blankie. After making sure the cup was upright and stable, she turned off my bedroom light and closed the door so I could take a nap. I tried once to come out of my room and she came screaming down the hall " No! No! Mom! NAP!". Bug shoved me back into the room and slammed the door so I couldn't get out.

Teamwork

Bug likes to color. In fact... she likes to color ON EVERYTHING. Recently this included her white bedroom door meeting a purple crayon.

I took away her crayon and got after her about coloring on the door. I told her she made a mess and had to clean it up. I went to the kitchen and got her a scrubbie and set her to work.

Monkey came along and asked what was going on. Somehow Bug convinced her to take over the cleaning project. It reminded me of Tom Sawyer convincing other kids to whitewash the fence.

There is no way that this was fair so I went and got Bug another scrubbie and made her help her sister.

They "cleaned" for about half an hour. At the end of the day though, the only thing that is really going to make the purple go away is a fresh coat of paint. At this point... that is going to have to wait until Bug ends this habit of drawing on the walls, doors, and tiles in the house.

The Conversation

Monkey is in kindergarten now. For the first few weeks we let her buy breakfast or lunch once a week. She decided that she liked it so much that she would just get lunch/breakfast whenever she wanted. This is the problem...

My husband or I pack her a lunch every day. On the off days that she is allowed to buy, we give her money. So, when she was getting lunch when she wasn't supposed to it created two problems. First, she wasn't eating what we packed for her. So in some cases, the food was getting wasted. Secondly, they weren't denying her the lunch or breakfast. Instead, they fed her (can't deny a hungry child) and she basically created a tab at the school. Now I owe the school money and look like scumbag parent for not giving her lunch or money.

Needless to say, when we found out, my husband and I were less than happy about her choice. Her rationale was that it was "free" because they would give it to her without her giving them money. We talked to her about it, she said she wouldn't do it again, and life moved on.

The very next week she did it again.

This time our discussion involved losing toys and such if she did it again. She said (again) that she wouldn't do it.

Three weeks later...

Monkey and I are sitting at the dinner table finishing up our meals. Bear and Bug are already done and off doing their own things. Monkey set her fork down, laced her fingers together, set her hands on the table and said "Mom I want to have a conversation with you." I asked her what it was about and she said buying lunches. I called Bear into the room and told him Monkey wanted to have a "conversation" with us.

It went like this:
"I would like to have a conversation with you about buying lunches again. I have been very good at doing my chores, not buying breakfast or lunch when I am not supposed to, and I have been behaving in school. I was wondering if I could start buying lunch once a week again"

It took every ounce of self control I had not to laugh. Not because it was funny, but I was just blown away at the level of maturity that she was showing. She isn't even six yet! I took a deep breath and told her that as long as she continued to do all of those things, she could buy lunches again. She said "Okay, thank you" and left the table to go play.

If these are the conversations we have with her at the age of (almost) six... I am scared already for the future.

Try It One More Time

I have two daughters. Monkey is 5 and Bug is 2. They are complete and total opposites in just about every way. My 5 year old is quite the picky eater, whereas my 2 year old is a garbage disposal.

About a year ago, we had had my in-laws over for lunch. We went over to Subway and picked up sandwiches and brought them back to our house to eat. Bug (at the time was 1) will eat ANYTHING she can get her hands on. She was walking around scavenging anything that she could off of everyone's plates. As she came up to my brother-in-law's plate she found a slice of jalapeno. Bug swiped it off the plate and ran away before we could stop her.

Maybe I am a bad mom, but I saw potential comic value in this situation so I didn't try to stop her when she put the jalapeno slice in her mouth. I was not disappointed. Bug took a bite and got a mouthful of juice. She made the funniest baby bitter beer face I have ever seen. She promptly grabbed the jalapeno out of her mouth and gave it back to my brother-in-law. All of us couldn't help but laugh.

3 Minutes Later...

The little jalapeno thief showed up again. She grabbed the slice and ran away. I wasn't sure what was going to happen this time around since she already had experienced that taste the first time around. Sure enough... *BITE* and again with the bitter beer face. Bug quickly returned the jalapeno again.

1 Minute Later...

Rinse and repeat.

After the third round we finally decided that this game needed to end. We were worried that she was going to get jalapeno juice on her face or eyes. We thought that she might learn to not put anything and everything in her mouth after that less than pleasant experience. That is definitely not the case. One year later, there is still a natural motion from her hand to her mouth.